It's been so long since I wrote here - January 31st I think - that I hardly know where to start. Let's start with cancer-related news.
I saw Dr. M on February 29th. Like Dr. R, he too graduated me to seeing him every 6 months. Except...
Except that during the internal exam he once again thought he felt a "thickening". I mentioned to him that - not to be too too graphic, but remember, this blog began as a way to communicate my experience and feelings about dealing with a cancer diagnosis, so grit your teeth or jump to the next paragraph - I felt like I had to go to the bathroom. To be frank, that I either had to take a crap or pass gas. He was actually happy to hear it, thought that might be what he was encountering. So he asked me to come back another day, after using a bowel prep the night before. I asked if it would be okay to wait until after the CT scan - scheduled for April 16 - and he said sure.
So the CT scan is on April 16 - that will be my 2 year post-treatment CT scan. And I made an appointment to see him on April 18 but since then I've been scheduled to attend a 6 hour meeting at work that conflicts with my appointment with Dr. M, so I need to call him and reschedule it.
As the CT scan date approaches, again I feel that place in the back of my throat and in my chest, the tightening up, the flutter in my stomach, from time to time. I've just gotten over 2 bouts of "illness" - first a regular head cold, and then 10 days later, something more flu-like, 36 hours of fever, chills, ending with chest congestion that I"m still feeling the lingering effects of. The good thing about being "sick" is that it's kept my mind off of other, deeper fears. Actually, although I feel the nervousness stirring and beginning to rise, like sap in the early days of spring, I actually in some weird way look forward to this CT scan. First, because it is a true milestone, the first chronological milestone the medical profession seems to mark: 2 years post treatment. Second, related to that, it means no further CT scan for 12 months. And only 2 doctor visits in the intervening months.
So that's the cancer news.
Other news, let's see, the 200 residents of Alligator, Mississippi, where my father was born, elected their first black mayor by a decisive vote of 37 to 27, I think.
The Republican primary rolls out across the months like some coldly reptilian slithering snake. It does appear to have turned back on itself, found a juicy morsel of "prey" to feed upon and is now busy swallowing its own head and consuming itself. Nonetheless, I find I have boundless faith in the Democrats - that is, in their ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. My grandmother, whom we called Big Mama, used to tell me: We're all entitled to be wrong. Indeed.
Green is creeping out the branches of trees, silently signaling spring - which newly arrived migrating birds are joyously announcing. Seems early, but I haven't gone back and looked at this blog from last year to check dates. I do know that I saw the first robin in the park as long ago March 6, and red winged blackbirds on the same day. Ella and I were at the park Friday (I took the day off), yesterday and again this morning. Many, many robins, red winged blackbirds, downy and hairy woodpeckers, black capped chickadees, and other birds I heard but didn't see. Spring is a feast for the ears.
Peace.
