So the oncologist's office calls me yesterday and the girl on the phone asks do I want to talk to the doctor on the phone or meet with him in person. I ask which does he recommend, meaning, I thought obviously - does he prefer to meet in person or provide results on the phone. She blurts out, "Oh, he recommends chemo therapy and radiation." Okay, well gee, that's not quite what I was asking about. So she starts looking for a time on Monday, Nov. 2nd, when I can come and meet with him. But I realize I can't wait until then to talk to him in person, to hear at least the words she blurted out from his mouth. So I tell her so. I say, look given what you just blurted out, I think I need to talk to him today, at least for a few minutes. So later he calls. He's very kind. He's very personable. But he's very proper and conservative. It's all "our goal is to cure you." ??? Like my goal every New Year is to lose 15 pounds, but if I fail to reach my goal, I don't die from it. I didn't care much for that. And he said "we'll get you through this" which sounded a little better, but still not quite satisfactory. In the end he gave me his home phone number so that if over the weekend I decide I want to talk to him and get the details before the scheduled Monday appointment, I can call him,
David was pretty mad about the office girl's misunderstanding. I have to admit - who does that? Even if she thinks that that really is what I was asking, why would she take it on herself to deliver the news, and like that? She should have said something like "I think it would be better for you to talk to the doctor directly; I'll have him call you." David will go with me on Monday and that's good, because I am not sure I'll be in any state to really take in what the doctor is saying, the implications, etc.
So I cried, but not too much. If I stop to feel, what I feel is sad. Anyway, then I sent emails off - to the kids, to people at work and to V, M and S.
That's it for now.
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