Monday morning

Jessie and I got to the park this morning just a little past 5:00 a.m. Guess who was there? The heron -- or a least - A heron. It actually looked different than "my" heron, slimmer. But I could very well be mis-remembering. He/she was right where I last saw him/her earlier this spring (was it the end of March?) Instead of going right into our walk around the smaller loop, Jessie and I circled the pond to get to the bench where we sometimes sit at the end of our walks, which is across the pond from where the heron stood. I could see him/her there. But because of the early hour, and glare from some lights on the Pond House (a catering place in the park, close to the pond), it was hard to see him/her. So we walked back toward him/her. We stood and watched the heron a while; he/she was in his/her most extended (tallest) position, turning his/her head, long beak standing out against the silvery water of the pond. I turned my back for a moment or two, and when I turned back toward the pond, the heron was gone.

I'm not sure where he/she went. I've begun to learn about birds, and have learned that most birds prefer to travel at night, apparently using the stars to guide themselves. I think this heron was nervous and Jessie and I made him/her more nervous. (Given the slim shape of his/her body, I wonder if it was a juvenile.) At any rate, I doubt the heron left entirely. He/she probably flew onto the little island in the middle of the pond or somewhere else nearby with more cover. It will be interesting to see if the heron is really BACK, or just passing through.

I have my first appointment with my new primary care doctor, Dr. T, this morning. My guess is most of my time will be spent filling out a medical history -- that after the last 6 months, is now quite a bit longer than it used to be -- and then talking to her about it. i've decided if she wants to do anything - like schedule a complete physical or anything else - I am going to ask that it be postponed for at least 6 months. I am just not ready to go through any more "procedures," let alone deal with any "results" from them. The reason I am seeing her now is at the advice of Nurse E, who said I should see my Primary Care Physician soon after completing treatment so that he/she can follow my care now. I told Nurse E that I'd been thinking of changing PCPs for some time, but didn't know who to go to (I don't dislike my former PCP, just never really connected with him). Nurse E - and then separately, Dr. R - both recommended Dr. T so here I am.

I'm giving some thought to Dr. R's "orders" to "go have some fun." The fact that I have to give the concept some "thought" probably indicates there hasn't been enough fun in my life. But what can I do? I am who I am, and "fun" for me is as likely to involve a book as anything else. (I did buy 3 bottles of wine last weekend, and I have had a glass of wine a couple of nights this week. First time since pre-diagnosis. Not that I ever was a real wine drinker, but being told NOT to do something sure makes it more appealing. At least for me.)

Peace.