Thursday night

Just taking a quick moment to say things have settled down at work. I got through it. Thanks for those who sent messages of support. It's scary how a couple of days like that at work can bring home to you how much of your time (life) you give over to your "job" and how deeply things that happen there can affect you, not just on the surface (as in financially), but emotionally. I try to keep things in perspective; it is a JOB, not my life. And as I get older - and post-cancer (if just newly so) - I realize that I am more and more ready to let things go, to see it as a "job." The troubling thing is knowing that with a history of cancer, I am one of those people with a "pre-condition" that might never get medical insurance again if I left my current job. That changes things. Still, I had a talk with this woman at work today about the whole issue of letting go of things you can't control (this was a discussion about things in her life, not mine, but the lesson remains).

Tomorrow night is erev Yom Kippur - the eve of Yom Kippur. The Day of Atonement. The day that God is said to "seal" the fate of every living thing for the year to come - in the Book of Life OR ... not. On Rosh Ha Shannah (New Year, last Thursday-Friday) it was "written," and on Yom Kippur, it is "sealed." Not sure where I am intellectually on this, but after more than 25 years of observance, the rituals and traditions of this holiday season are part of my emotional makeup now. The fast begins at sundown tomorrow and ends at sundown Saturday. Not just no food, but no water. It is almost always difficult for me, physically. I don't think I'll ever be able to say - and probably shouldn't - that I "look forward" to it. But perhaps I have come to dread it a little less each year. Not sure. I guess I've come to believe that I will do the best I can. And I will try to let go of the rest.

Can't we all just do the best we can? Could we believe that others also are - usually if not always - just trying to do the best they can? Could we cut a little slack for someone we're usually hard on? I'm going to try. Could it hurt that much to do that? For anyone I've offended in the past year, I ask your forgiveness. And for anyone who offended me, I forgive you.

How wonderful would it be for the world to start anew with a clean slate?

Peace. Peace. Peace.