Sunday evening

Quiet day -- except for one very bad thing completely unconnected with cancer or health - David's bike was stolen last night, right from the hallway outside our door, with us sleeping inside the apartment. And our great watch dog apparently "watched" (or at least listened assuming the thief/thieves made any noise at all). The bike wasn't locked up; it's been there many a day, many a night over the past several years, without a problem. I guess now it's time to start locking everything up. What a drag. And David built this bike, slowly, lovingly over years, buying parts on eBay and improving it gradually until it was perfect. Rats! Double Rats!

Otherwise, it was a quiet day of peeing in the "hat" and collecting in the jug to deliver to the Cancer Center tomorrow. I was nervous about it - which goes to show you that it is possible to be nervous about anything at all. I'm not sure why I was nervous, or what I expected to go wrong: Miss the "hat"? Not pee enough? Pee too much? Pee wrong color? Forget to put the "hat" in the toilet bowl before I sat down? What? Anyway, the day is almost over and my nervousness has proved (so far) unfounded.

I did not take Jessie to the park this morning, probably because of my fear about the pee collection. Again, not sure what I thought would happen. It is true that I have occasionally used the restroom in Starbuck's when I go there to buy a coffee before we go to the park. But not often. So did I think that if I did go to the park this morning, I would have the irresistible urge to pee at Starbuck's and not make it home to pee in the 'hat"? Don't know. Anyway, I took Jessie for a fairly long walk in the neighborhood this morning. Then late this afternoon, when my nerves were more settled, I took her to the park. A walk in the park on a sunny warm Sunday fall afternoon reminded me of why I so prefer to go early in the morning. Saw the heron, sitting on a different small float, leaning his/her long neck over to the water to nab an early dinner, probably small fishes, but I couldn't see.

I spoke with both kids, Aunt M and Carol, which was good and comforting to me. Tomorrow I drop the big red (literally, the plastic container is red) Jug O'Pee off at the Cancer Center in the morning. I may drop in at my office to pick up something I will need - if / when I ever start working from home - or I may wait to do that on Tuesday. I want to attend funeral services at my synagogue tomorrow mid-day for Rabbi C, z"l, who passed away just before the Jewish Sabbath, 89 years old, may his memory be a blessing for his family and for the entire community who will miss him (including me).

I'm thinking I may go to my Tai Chi class tomorrow night. There are only a couple of parts of our form that I probably shouldn't do 2-weeks post surgery, and I can just skip those. Tai Chi always relaxes me, centers me or something equally touchy-feely As of right now, I am feeling pretty good, more or less at peace. Of course, beneath the calm surface of my heart, brain, soul, there are racing currents of emotion - fear, dread, sadness. I don't want to deny them, or ignore them, but I don't want them controlling me either. I want to construct a boat of calmness and peace and ride those emotions in a positive direction.

Thanks to all of you for your continuing emails, calls, comments, prayers.