Sunday afternoon

Quiet weekend, not feeling great. Not terrible, but not great. It was sleeting or freezing rain on Saturday morning so Jessie and I didn't get to the park. I went to services at synagogue, also quiet, rabbi and many other people away. Some bone pain, not agony but uncomfortable. Back to the weird hungry-but food not tasting great dialectic. Also some constipation playing tag team with diarrhea. Main side effect - fatigue. I went to bed at 8:01 Saturday night and, although I woke up a couple of times in the early morning hours, I went back to sleep and didn't get up until 6:00 am today. So unseasonably and weirdly warm today - 49 degrees on Dec 27th - I did manage to take Jessie to the park this morning in the rain. We were both pretty bedraggled by the end.

I spoke to my son and grandson. I realized tonight when I took Jessie for a short walk in the neighborhood that because of my kids' visit - and particularly my grandson's visit - so many places here now bring him to mind. So when we walked tonight by the playground by the school yard, it wasn't just the playground by the school yard that kids play at, it was the play ground by the school yard where we took C while he was here. That's a gift he left behind. I hear he had a good Christmas, enjoyed every gift and went to see the Chipmunk movie, too!

I had a long and thoughtful message from M in response to my last couple of posts, for which I am grateful. There were several people I had hoped to call today to catch up after the holiday, but I just felt washed out. I think I just have been trying to hunker down. I know I have a hard 4 day work week in front of me and hope I feel better tomorrow. I guess I'm even a little nervous about leaving chemo behind - odd as that sounds - and venturing into a new form of treatment. At least I had begun to know what to expect with chemo. On the other hand, good riddance for 6-8 weeks! I'm just wondering how the radiation will affect me. Fatigue seems to have been a problem for me with the chemo; will the radiation be worse? Will I be able to work? What will it be like going for the treatments? With chemo, there is a camaraderie in the group chemo rooms. Radiation seems like it will be me going through it all alone. Jeez, a person can really find things to worry about all the time, right?

I'm okay. Tired, a little shaky, but feeling better today than yesterday. Perhaps another 10 hours of sleep will restore me further.

Peace.