Trying to stay honest here so when I look back at this experience, I'll remember that everything wasn't roses and sunshine all the time.
It's the middle of the night. I woke up and am having a hard time going back to sleep. Of course, I fell asleep on the couch between 9:30 and 10:00 p.m., woke up about midnight, got in bed, slept again, so I've already slept 5 or more hour. I'm certainly not in any physical pain or even discomfort, and no terrible specific thoughts or fears are suddenly weighing on me - just general malaise, about losing my hair, about the next chemo and potential side effects. I'd say half of the buzz cut fuzz I had on Friday has now fallen out; I'm shedding short grey hairs like pine needles fall from a dead Christmas tree. My skull is left with what looks like a kind of fuzzy greyish coating, not really "hair." (By the way, going to work was fine; my "haircut" was admired by those with whom I shared it.) I also went to Tai Chi on Monday night, and shared with my class my circumstances. I've been in the class with most of the people for almost 2 years; they were very supportive. I told them not to get too fond of my new "hair style" since I'm shedding it rapidly and it will likely be gone the next time I see them.
Basically, everything is okay. I'm just having a little middle-of-the-night angst.
I'm going to get a drink of water and listen to a little music on my iPod.
Peace.
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