Tuesday afternoon

Zap #9 and zap #10 down, 15 zaps to go.

I saw Nurse S yesterday; she still leaves me cold. She's not horrible or anything, I just don't "connect" with her. I guess she makes me appreciate all the other nurses, doctors, nurses aides, technicians with whom I have connected. Saw Dr. VR today. Both ask me the same questions over and over: How am I feeling? Any change in my bowel movements? Diarrhea? Any change in bladder (frequent urination is a potential side effect)? Any increase in fatigue? Over and over, to the point that I start thinking maybe I am experiencing these side effects. But I'm not. I'm doing okay. I AM tired, more tired than before all this stuff began, but I read somewhere that it can take a month to get back to "normal" from every chemo treatment and every week of radiation therapy, so that would be a LONG time. But I'm doing okay. Dr. VR pointed out that at the end of this week, I will be half done with the radiation. Whoopee! My reward for finishing radiation? I get to go back to chemo! (Actually so far the radiation isn't that bad; I'm not suffering side effects yet - except continuing fatigue - and I am able to work and live life. I'm not complaining.)

Thanks to everyone for the continuing calls, kind email messages, particularly those who have had and taken the time to stay in touch - even if briefly - regularly. I know I don't always have a chance to reply directly to you, but it means a lot to me to get your messages or comments on this blog or phone calls/messages. Word seems to be leaking out more broadly at my office, and I have had emails, phone calls and cards from people who are just hearing the news. It's all so astounding to me, the breadth and depth of the support of my family and friends. Indeed I feel very lucky.

Kim is following up at work with the HR department about the disability insurance company fiasco. I'm not taking any bets on the outcome but it will work out, one way or another.

I hear cold weather is coming, but I'm in a spring-is-going-to-come kind of mood.

Peace.