Sunday morning

Yesterday was a long day. Apart from Jessie and my quick walk in the park, I went out only to run a couple errands. Otherwise read and slept. This morning we went back to the park. We arrived about 6:20 and already the sun was deep orange and above the horizon. Sunrise is earlier every day. Still feeling weak, we only walked the small loop by the pond, and then sat on a bench by the pond for some time. Jessie makes even the big otherwise bold Canada geese nervous, even though any of them could with one snap of their beak, scare the dickens out of her. We sat for some minutes. It was quiet. Then a big splash in the water almost in front of us - a new creature, not sure what. Possibly a fish, more likely a turtle. I didn't see it clearly enough, but now I'll know to keep an eye out. Many (MANY) red winged blackbirds. At one point one landed on a bush right in front of us, his red and yellow shoulder cap clearly visible. He sidled down a skinny bare branch of the bush he was on, even his tiny weight causing it to bow and bend toward the water. I thought he might actually fall in. Then he flew.

Today I'm expecting more bone pain - fairly bad last night but dealt with, thankfully, with Motrin - and weakness. Meantime, I just took my last 1/2 Decadron tablet (steroid). Hurrah! Now all I'm taking for the foreseeable future are B vitamins to address the neuropathy in my feet and magnesium to address muscle weakness, and Senna to off set the Big C, which is at least keeping the Big D at bay this chemo cycle. It is still surprising to find myself feeling "weak," not just tired and fatigued, but actually weak, finding it hard to get up off the couch and so on. I know from the 5 cycles of chemo already completed that there is a cycle to these post-chemo effects and I should and do have confidence that by Tuesday, certainly by Wednesday, I will feel much much better -- and this time, there is nothing looming 3 weeks away "promising" to bring back the same thing again. Instead I hope I can begin to believe that there stretch in front of me days, weeks, months of getting stronger, feeling better and even actually Good. In the meantime, patience.

Aunt M - Happy Belated Birthday! I'm sorry I missed it with a card or calling you. Between chemo, its after effects and work, I got befuddled, but I didn't forget in my heart. I love you.

Peace to all.