Saturday morning

No surgery. The vet who did the ultrasound, and Jessie's vet, both felt the results were ... bad. A bad mass. Aggressive, fast growing. Jessie's vet said she didn't feel good about the surgery. I guess if I had insisted, she would have done it. She felt it was unlikely to lengthen Jessie's life much if at all, could pose other complications. On the other hand, if she had the surgery and it went well, it could make her temporarily more comfortable. A very very hard decision, but because both Jessie's vet and the vet performing the ultrasound, felt Jessie's prognosis is very dire, it didn't seem right to put her through the surgery with no change of changing the ultimate outcome and only a slight chance of extending her life. So we brought her home.

I understand she could live just a few days or a few weeks, a month or so. At some point the sarcoma - Jessie just like me has an aggressive sarcoma, but mine thank God was treatable; if only Jessie's were! - will tear and bleed. The vet says she will become suddenly weak and we should bring her immediately to the vet. We have some pain pills for her. Not sure exactly what will tell us it is time to give her those.

Meanwhile, hospice care. I was worried that she wouldn't eat. We were told to "entice" her with anything we could. I went to the Pet Supplies store and asked for the "tastiest" - not the healthiest, who cares, we're past that - tastiest food they had. I brought home 3 cans. We began with a flavor called 'Grannie's Pot Pie." Today we're on "Thanksgiving Dinner." She's eating. She got up on the bed on her own. This morning she slept there while David was sleeping. She's been out for several walks, including one around the block, and seems stronger. Interesting in sniffing things.

I don't think she's up to going to the park. I'll see. Maybe tomorrow if we don't go too far. I can't believe we've been to our park together for the last time. Does not seem possible. And now I look back and think how precious all the past months have been, all the times Jessie and I went to the park together. It was good for her. It was life-changing for me. I am very grateful.

And so it goes.

Peace.