Ella and I went to the park this morning. Cold. The pond was covered with ice which was covered with a very, very thin layer of snow. Only a trace of snow on the ground. No ducks. Where do they go? It seems to me that this time last year - of course, I was just getting into the chemo routine - but it seems to me that the ducks were around longer. Perhaps they have just ... moved ... temporarily. I guess I'll find out.
I went to a wake this week, M - a woman I knew through work, a wonderful person. She was the account rep for one of the suppliers we deal with and I negotiate contracts with. She became a kind of role model for me; someone who was always professional, courteous, but not formal or cold. Warm and personable. Always calm. Always listening. She became a friend. Less than a year ago she retired, after 30 years on the job. I knew we'd miss her, but I was happy that she would have more time with her family, kids, grandkids. Then about 4 months ago, I learned through people at her former company that she had been diagnosed with Corticobasal degeneration, a degenerative brain disease that is very rare and quite horrible. It seems to combine the physical degeneration of Parkinson's type conditions with the mental degeneration of Alzheimer's and then speeds up both degenerations to destroy - physically and mentally - its victim over a very short period of time. At any rate, M died this week- age 66 - after a last year more terrible than can even be imagined. May she rest in peace. May M's memory be a blessing for her family and for each of us who were graced with having known her.
My daughter prepares to go to Haiti to work early in January. Meanwhile the Haitian people are in the streets, raising fists and voices. And Cholera slinks through the camps to strike more and more. There is a Yiddish word - shanda - it means shame. But in a sense that we don't seem to have a real word for in English or in the Western sensibility. At any rate, Haiti is a shanda on the West, the industrialized countries of the world, and the U.S. in particular. To permit Haiti to suffer as it does ... a shanda. I again urge each of you to buy a calendar from S.O.I.L., whose work is only a small step forward, but important.
On a lighter note, I installed my roller-feeder bird feeder. So far, no birds have found it, or perhaps they are puzzled but its odd shape or perhaps I didn't fill it correctly. I intend to check later today. However, the good news is that the evil little rodent monster squirrels have found it and been foiled! I didn't see this, but this is David's report: a squirrel scrambled up the pole that holds the feeder, just as it had done successfully with the old feeder. It reached out its grasping little claws to grab the new rollerfeeder, and when it did, the rollerfeeder turned and the squirrel had to make a quick decision -let go of the pole and hang from the roller feeder? Or let go of the roller feeder? It chose the latter and then found itself trying to hold onto the pole with its little claws. Instead it slid down the pole.... rrrrrrrrr.... plop. Ha! Foiled! Since it's dark when I go to work and dark when I get home, I haven't had the pleasure of seeing the squirrels being foiled yet. I'm hoping to enjoy that experience this weekend. Thanks again to my friend H for the tip on roller feeders!
Dr. M, my primary oncologist, called last week to again postpone my next check up. Now scheduled for December 28th. This time the postponement didn't take me aback. I called and made an appointment in January with my opthomologist. I was on the point of having cataract surgery before Cancer came knocking. I think I need to think about it next year, but in the meantime, I'm pretty sure I need a new prescription.
Enough. A wish for peace to each and all, near and far.
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