Thursday morning

I'm taking the day off of work because I still have 3 vacation days left (not counting the 5 that I am allowed to "carry over") and stand to lose them otherwise. That means I have started a 4-day weekend as we have tomorrow off because New Year's day falls on the weekend.

In the end this part of CT received about 8-10 inches of snow here, although more (and in some cases less) in some other parts of CT. NYC - 30 inches. Places in NJ - 32. It shut down airports across the NE. Echoes of England and Moscow. The BBC reported the other night that stranded passengers in Moscow airports protested. Good for them.

On Tuesday, as I was shutting down my computer and getting ready to leave early because of the appointment at 4 pm with Dr. M, his office called. At 1:15 pm. Yes, to again postpone the appointment. The 4th appointment date/time and 3rd postponement. Originally scheduled 11/30. Postponement 1 to 12/20. Postponement 2 to 12/28. Now postponed to 2/22. His office wanted to reschedule for 1/6, but I see Dr. R on 1/18, and the original follow-up plan - as I (at least) understand it - was to see one or the other of them every 6 weeks, not both of them 10 days apart. So I suggested postponing seeing Dr. M until late February. Of course his office had to check with him. That took a day. But he agreed. I told the girl from his office I would bet her a coffee that the 4th appointment date/time gets postponed yet again. Presumably he must believe I am doing okay; if I trust him - and I do (or think I still do at this point) - then I have to believe he would find a way to see me sooner if he felt he needed to see me sooner. I don't think Dr. R will postpone. She'll just be late. That's her M.O.

When you are actually a "cancer patient" (meaning - going through treatment), none of this stuff gets to you. You feel so vulnerable, and so much at mercy of the medical team that is providing your treatment, and at the same time, you also feel so grateful for receiving the treatment, that you take whatever is dished out without complaint (I remember the lovely woman, L, I met in the group chemo room one day who had to wait more than 6 hours to receive a blood transfusion! She and her husband and I had a long talk. I hope and pray she is hanging in there; she was dealing with a recurrence of lymphoma, I think. I ask anyone reading this to join me in sending thoughts and prayers her way). At the same time, when you are an actual "patient," at least it seemed to me as if less were dished out and more care was taken to keep appointments, to be on time, etc. Therefore, perhaps the lesson to take from facing the frustrations of going back to being treated in the "normal" way is to see it as a sign of progress and even "health." I'll have to (try to) keep that in mind when Dr. R is late and Dr. M's office calls to postpone another appointment.

Hoping to take Ella to the dog park today, although I'm not sure what it will be like since it's likely to be covered in snow. I guess the dogs will enjoy that.

Peace.