Chemo #4 tomorrow. At this point I realize that what I am anxious about isn't the chemo itself - I have books to read and my iPod and there are always interesting people to talk to and I'm no longer afraid of going into shock and dying on the spot. What I get anxious about is the after effects, not tomorrow night, or even the next night - just whenever they start. What will they be? How severe this time? (And next time? And the time after that?) I realize how lucky I am to only have to go through 6 chemo sessions. There are plenty of people who go through chemo for 6 months, going once a week. Let alone people who go into remission or whose cancer is "cured," only to have it come back again and have to go through chemo again. I am definitely lucky.
Today I went to the cancer center for my pre-chemo blood work. My appointment was at 3:00 p m and I knew that L, one of the women I met at radiation who was undergoing treatment for breast-cancer, had her last appointment today at 3:30 p m. So I stuck around after the blood work and went downstairs to be there when she rang her bell! It was nice to share that moment with her. She told me about a weekend retreat taking place at the end of April, first of May, for cancer survivors at some sort of a resort in Vermont. It is actually free to cancer survivors attending the first time. We're making plans to go, and to try to get M, the other women I met at radiation, to go with us.
I have to manage to stay up until 10:00 pm tonight to take my 5 Decadron pills and get up at 5:00 am tomorrow morning for the next 5. Mmmm.... steroids, yum.
Okay, here we go again.
Peace.
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